From Loss to Love: How One Mother's Grief Inspired a Movement of Support (28)
In 2017, Jen Burgard experienced every parent's worst nightmare. At 39 weeks pregnant, she suffered a complete placental abruption, resulting in the loss of her son, Henry. This devastating experience led Jen on a journey of grief, healing, and ultimately, the creation of Haven, an organization dedicated to supporting parents who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss.
The Birth of Haven
In the aftermath of Henry's death, Jen found herself struggling to navigate her grief while also parenting her toddler daughter. She discovered that while there were resources available, they weren't always easily accessible or tailored to the unique needs of bereaved parents.
Determined to make a difference, Jen started Haven as a "craft project" to soothe her mama heart. She began by creating healing gifts filled with carefully curated items that she found helpful in her own grief journey. These gifts included:
Adult coloring books with custom pages for lost children
Journals for processing emotions
Self-care items like cooling eye masks and spa products
A custom-poured remembrance candle with the child's name
Resource cards with links to support groups and helpful websites
What started as a small project has grown into a full-fledged organization. In 2022 alone, Haven distributed over 200 healing gifts to bereaved parents across the United States and Canada.
Beyond Gifts: Creating Community
Recognizing the power of connection, Haven expanded its services to include events and retreats for bereaved parents. These gatherings provide a safe space for parents to connect, share their stories, and honor their children's memories.
Jen emphasizes the importance of creating organic opportunities for connection, moving beyond traditional support group models. Haven hosts activities like coffee meetups, yoga classes, and cooking workshops, allowing parents to form friendships and support networks in a more natural setting.
Spreading Awareness and Educating Others
A crucial part of Haven's mission is to increase awareness about pregnancy and infant loss, and to educate people on how to support grieving parents. Jen advocates for open conversations about grief and loss, providing tools and suggestions for what to say to someone who has experienced a loss.
Learned and Advice for Others
Through her journey, Jen has learned valuable lessons about grief and healing:
It's okay to take time to process your grief
Journaling can be a powerful tool for healing
Grief changes over time, but it doesn't disappear
Healing doesn't mean forgetting
Sharing your story can be healing for both you and others
For those considering starting their own support organization, Jen advises:
Give yourself time to grieve before diving into a large project
Start small with a memorial event or fundraiser
Consider volunteering with existing organizations to gain experience
Be clear about your goals and mission
Be prepared for the emotional investment required
A Legacy of Love
While Jen would give anything to have Henry back, she acknowledges that her loss has given her a new perspective on life and a deep desire to help others. Through Haven, Henry's short life continues to impact the world, bringing comfort and connection to grieving parents across North America.
To learn more about Haven or to request a healing gift, visit havenmidwest.org. You can also listen to Jen's podcast, "Landscape of Loss," available on all major podcast platforms.
Remember, if you know someone who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss, don't be afraid to reach out. Sometimes, a simple "I'm thinking of you" can make all the difference.
