29: Finding Healing Through the Lens: A Conversation with Grief Photographer Shannon McFarlane
In a recent episode of the Navigating Baby Loss Podcast, host Jennifer Senn sat down with Shannon McFarlane, a photographer who specializes in documenting grief and loss. Shannon's journey into this unique field began with her own pregnancy experience in 2012, when her son was diagnosed with a rare condition in utero.
Shannon's Story
During her pregnancy, Shannon faced numerous challenges, including two threatened miscarriages and a grim prognosis for her son. Doctors warned that he might not survive birth, and if he did, he might not live past his first year. Despite these difficulties, Shannon turned to photography as a way to process her emotions and create memories for her husband.
Unexpectedly, Shannon's son survived. Now nine years old, he lives with multiple medical conditions but defies the initial predictions. This experience sparked Shannon's passion for documenting the journeys of families facing similar challenges.
The Power of Grief Photography
Shannon's work goes beyond traditional family portraits. She aims to capture the raw, honest moments of families in the NICU, during funerals, and in everyday life after loss. Her approach is to validate the experiences of grieving parents and provide them with tangible memories of their children, no matter how brief their lives.
"I wanted to create things for them that were very honest, that weren't Pinteresty," Shannon explains. "I wanted to say, this is what your life looks like right now, and it's real, and it's important, and it's worthy and deserves to be acknowledged."
Photography as a Coping Skill
Shannon also teaches families how to use photography as a coping mechanism. She suggests simple exercises like:
Finding and photographing heart-shaped objects in everyday life
Capturing images that represent your mood through colors
Looking for symbols or representations of your lost loved one
These practices can help grieving individuals process their emotions and maintain a connection with their lost loved ones.
The Importance of Witnessing
Shannon emphasizes the importance of witnessing and documenting life's moments, both joyful and painful. She references a podcast episode from "We Can Do Hard Things" that discusses the significance of partners photographing each other as an act of love and witnessing.
"Loving someone is active," Shannon says. "We can help ourselves and help each other by witnessing in whatever way we can witness. It doesn't have to be with a camera, but just being able to say, I've seen what's happening here, and I'm here."
Advice for Grieving Parents
For those still grieving and looking for ways to remember their babies, Shannon suggests:
Create "invitations to connect" through photography
Look for signs or symbols that remind you of your baby
Keep a digital album of these images to revisit when you need validation
Approach your documentation like a compassionate documentary filmmaker
Shannon's work reminds us that every life, no matter how brief, deserves to be acknowledged and remembered. Through her lens, she helps families capture the beauty and pain of their journeys, providing comfort and validation in the face of unimaginable loss.
To learn more about Shannon's work, visit her website at https://www.shannonmacfarlanephotography.com/
